Memories Buried
by fates4jt
Summary: Left stranded on an abandoned planet, Teyla fights for Sheppard’s life as it hangs in the balance.


* * *

Memories Forbidden

'How's he doing?'

'Not very well I fear; his wound has become infected again and he's now feverishly drifting in and out of consciousness.'

'What's he rambling on about?'

Teyla, regarding John's delirious rhetoric during his panic-stricken episodes as very personal, chose not to disclose any of the private information; instead, to prevent any of his words from reaching his ears, she ushered Ronon out of the crude shelter, made of large branches and sparsely applied leaves. With a grunt Ronon turned, leaving her to her administrations, but as he did so, John started feverishly lashing out; seeing this, he instinctively dropped down to hold Sheppard by his legs while Teyla tried restraining both of his flaying arms.

'_No dad no…don't do this_..._it wasn't my fault! It was Mason's; he's the one who set the fire not me…I didn't do it…dad please no_!'

Teyla looked at Ronon who, with a furrowed brow, returned her stare now realizing why she didn't want him present.

Both never said a word, but understood from the others eyes the bleak prison in which Sheppard was now trapped.

Once calmed from his hysterics, Ronon stood, backing away while keeping his eyes on the Colonel.

'I'm gonna check on Mckay…see if he's managed to fix the D.H.D; I'll be back.'

'Very well, but before you return I will need you to retrieve something; a plant I am familiar with. It has potent medicinal properties. I became aware of its presence when returning to the gate. In order to retrieve it you will have to get across the crevice we passed on the way back. Navigating over to may prove difficult, but you will need to if I am to lower Colonel Sheppard's fever.

'You know me, I thrive on danger…tell me what this stuff looks like, and I'll bring it back.'

Needing him to make haste, she urgently warned him, 'you will need to hurry…I believe he will be fine for a little while…his fever seems to have reached a plateau and his episodes do not take place immediately after the other; however, time between each is quickly diminishing, and I do not know how much longer it will be before his fever starts climbing again.'

Once she described the plant to him, made mention of the amount she would need, and advised him to be careful, he hastily turned, brashly ready to take on his new task.

It had been 4 hours since Ronon left, but to Teyla it had felt like an eternity; in that time she painfully watched as John feverishly re-lived one nightmare after another from his childhood; each more distressing then the next; and without Ronon near to help subdue the strength he ferociously harbored from the fever ten fold, she found it quite hard to restrain him.

She also, out of compassion, and unfortunately at the expense of her left eye, didn't use any more force than necessary; for fear of causing him serious harm.

With his arms violently lashing out and his torso fiercely resisting the pressure set on it…John hysterically cried out.

'_Mom please don't let him do this…you keep letting him hurt me! Dad no…please don't lock me in…I didn't hurt Murdock… it was Mason…Believe me, please!'_

Teyla's grasp weakened upon hearing his cries, causing his arms to shoot out.

'_Mom, it's hard to breathe, please open up… I'll be good… I promise I won't cause any more trouble.'_

It was all Teyla could do not to cry; she knew she couldn't afford to; not now…not when he truly needed her now more then ever; she would to stay strong for him, no question.

'John…please hear me, it is Teyla; I am with you…draw from my strength.'

Not sure if he could feel her presence, she rested her forehead against his, cupping the side of his face with her hand.

He stopped struggling; she wasn't quite sure what had brought it on, but immediately upon resting against him, he started to calm.

Whispering against his forehead, 'Ronon please hurry…I do not know how much more of his pain I am able to endure.'

With those words Rodney entered. 'Good lord what happened to you; it looks as if you been to hell and back.'

Turning away once she realized it wasn't Ronon she murmured, 'I have; only it was not mine.'

'Are you okay?'

'Yes. However, it is John I am worried about. He seems to be getting more feverish each passing minute…I am afraid if we do not do something to help him soon the damage may be irreparable.'

'Well, thanks to Beomere's handy work and Atlantis not expecting us back for at least another fourty-eight hours it seems we're stuck here.

Beomere…

If it had not of been for her trusting him none of her them would be here, and John would not be experiencing this agony.

Following what she and the team thought was a lead, she sought Beomere's expertise. She told the Atlanteans he could be trusted; to her mortification, she later was informed by John he had become one who sought servitude under the Wraith.

After all they had done to his people she pondered how he could willingly seek their favor. He knew they could never be trusted.

Nevertheless, he now was on his path to becoming a devout follower, and because of his desire to be with the Wraith, she didn't have a hard time fathoming the reason behind his duplicity…deliberately leading them to this abandoned planet…luring them away from the gate on the assurance that the artifact they were in search of was merely a few kilometers away, intentionally getting them lost, and lacing their water with sleeping herbs, knocking them out so that he could rid them all of their belongings and disable the D.H.D leaving them stranded.

She did not know how long it would take for Beomere to find and inform the Wraith of their whereabouts. She just hoped if he was successful in his attempts that they were long gone before they did arrive.

_Spineless fool; scurrying away like a rat once discovered. _

'Rodney there must be something you can do… Beomere could not have done much damage to the D.H.D…in fact, I did not see any damage at all.'

'Precisely the problem; not being able to see anything…you see whatever he did didn't involve actually physically tampering with any of the wires; he must have attached some sort of disabling apparatus; one invisible to the eye…and being that he's no fool, well aside from wanting to worship the Wraith, he took away the only equipment I had able to detect such a device. So you see until I can find this contraption, or Elizabeth sends assistance, we…are royally screwed.'

'Well, how is it that he managed access to the gate.'

'I don't know…but I believe he may have had some sort of remote…something definitely powerful enough to activate the device once through the gate.'

Teyla no longer surprised at what Beomere was capable of couldn't help but wonder where a man with so little means could have obtain such a device.

Turning back to John, exasperated from their dire situation, her mind wandered to Ronon's safety; traveling over that particular area would be very dangerous; she could only hope that the ancestors were watching over him during his task.

'Where are you Ronon?'

'Ronon, oh…uhhh…I just saw him…he's just a few yards away. In fact he should be here, ohhh lets see right about now.'

Barging in with a bushel of the plant and its overwhelming stench he quickly handed it over without any words. Teyla thanked him as she made a mad grab for what she now saw as John's only hope.

Ronon, concerned about her watched as she prepared to leave, 'Where are you going?'

Patting her pant pocket to ensure her lighter was securely there she stated, 'I will need a container of sorts to make a poultice to cover his wound and another to make a stout tea. One we will have to administer through force if need be.'

With her eyes sternly on John, she demanded, 'Ronon do not under any circumstances allow him to harm himself.'

'Don't worry I got him. You go and take care of what you need to.'

With sad eyes and smile she turned to leave.

'Hey, wait is there anything I can do?'

'Yes there is.'

'Great, what is it?'

'Focus on eliminating the problem obstructing the D.H.D.'

With those parting words, she swiftly left for her destination.

Teyla hurried over to the area she remembered last seeing Beomere's parcel of supplies; dropped, she was sure in his haste to leave. Once there she scoured the area for what she needed. As she searched and searched, and time was lost looking for his belongings, she grew more distressed from her fruitless efforts.

'Where is it? I saw it not long ago…perhaps, if I retrace my steps…'

As she continued her search, through the blindingly thick foliage, over again, doubts of John's survival began mulling around her head, but as quickly as it appeared she immediately dashed them away. She refused to lose hope.

With all of her close calls, John always fought for her; so she was not about to contemplate losing him; not without a solid fight.

With a frustrated release of breath, she continued on in the hopes of finding Beomere's equipment.

'Damn him; he will one day pay for this betrayal.'

Teyla couldn't help but entertain thoughts of revenge towards him as she recalled John's explanation of how during Beomere's attempt to escape through the gate, he awoke earlier than expected, delaying his plans…and due to their weapons being taken away, he had no other defense but himself; Beomere seeing this, took advantage of the opportunity, slicing at an angle his dirty rusted blade through the air as John approached, cutting through his pant …ripping into his upper thigh; resulting in a deep gash, one that caught him off guard giving Beomere the leverage to knock him over the head rendering him bleeding and unconscious…the way in which he was found hours later after they had awaken, along with the filthy knife.

She also thought of how after cleaning and stitching his wound as best she could, he had awakened almost immediately…summoning every detail that occurred to mind…stating how after trying to futilely wake them, he caught sight of Beomere and followed him to the gate, and that once caught up, he tried stopping him, and during his attempt to prevent him from leaving them stranded, Beomere admitted to how nothing would stop him from going through with turning them over in order to establish himself within the Wraith's good graces.

'Fool; when will those who willingly lay trust at the feet of those demons learn.'

As she went on in her search for the bag…she recalled how once up and about, John, to them all, appeared fine; but through the night as he slept, the fever viciously laid claim to him. She was not surprised it had happened; she fully attributed it to the unfortunate fact that as they laid sleeping, while John laid bleeding and unconscious, hours had passed, preventing his cut from being seen to immediately, leaving him, as a result, exposed to his microscopic assailants relentlessly rapid distribution throughout his body.

Thinking of how he now laid incapacitated, so defenseless and vulnerable against the demons of his past, she couldn't help but lay the blame solely on her shoulders; it was after all because of her Beomere was brought into their lives.

With no luck in finding anything, Teyla disheartened, began walking back to the shelter thinking of the many ways she would make Beomere suffer for his duplicity if she ever got her hands on him; it was during her musings, she finally stumbled onto his equipment.

Grabbing the bag, she quickly opened it sifting through the many useless baubles hiding what she was in need of…frustrated with her search she went to clearer ground and turned the bag over emptying all of its contents onto the floor. Looking intensely about, she discovered what she was so desperately in need of. Bending to grab two medium sized metal containers she jumped up and ran to gather water from a brook, located not more than fifteen feet away from their camp site, before ultimately heading to the clearing where she would put into motion her plan.

Once finally at the clearing, she placed many of the sticks she had gathered along the way on the ground to create a fire.

With the remainder of sticks in hand, she created an improvised scaffold in which to hold the container in place over its heat.

As the water warmed she placed the leaves in and waited for it to come to a boil. Once finished she drained the tea into her canteen and then concentrated on making the poultice.

She ran back to the brook twice more; one for the poultice and the other for water necessary to boil in order to re-clean his wound.

Almost two hours later, with items in hand, she hurried to the shelter. Upon arrival she saw Ronon holding John down as he fought futilely at the evil spirit plaguing his mind once more.

'Ronon…how is he?'

'The same…but I'm not, I swear if I ever meet his father I'll break his hand.'

Teyla's heart upon hearing this sunk; as she continued towards John, she thought of how delightful and kindhearted a child he must have been and how in her entire lifetime she would never be able to understand how a parent could ever raise a hand to their child.

She, however, refused to linger on those thoughts anymore than she had to; she now had to take her mind off of them, and concentrate on bringing him out of this hell.

'Ronon…I will need your assistance once more.'

'Sure; anything.'

'I will need to get the tea in him to begin fighting off his fever before I see to his wound.

Sit behind him and hold him up. Alright now, keep his arms behind him and use the other hand to pull his head back. It will allow him better access to the tea.

'This will be distressing, but no matter how much he resists keep him still.'

With a nod from Ronon, Teyla stepped up to John pushing his head back even further in order to gain access to his mouth. Once completely open, she poured most of the contents of the canteen in. He coughed here and there but nothing that caused him to waste the valuable liquid.

She wasted no time; once he was no longer gasping and coughing, she approached him again, emptying the last of the tea into his mouth. This time it went down more smoothly; she was pleased …the less squandered the better.

'Alright, you may lie him down.'

After Ronon released him to the floor, Teyla busied herself by re-opening and cleansing his wounded thigh as best she could. Once his cut was cleaned and re-stitched she saw to preparing a fresh piece of cloth. She then poured some of the herbal solution over the cloth and proceeded to wrap it completely over the affected area; holding it in place with a pin taken from her top.

Following completion of her tasks, they all waited for the tea to take affect; hours passed and with each hour she saw to John's well-being, preparing and supplying him with tea every six hours and refreshing his dressing every three.

She vigilantly kept watch over him as he slept, jumping at every movement he made, afraid that his nightmares would once again consume him; to her peace of mind they never returned; in fact, along with their disappearance went his fever. He was no longer at deaths door.

Never-the-less, she refused to rest until his eyes opened; with them doing so, she would then finally be able to breathe easy; however, due to all of her work finally taking its toll, she could not fight off the sleep that finally claimed her.

As she lay close to his side, her back facing him, she slept.

While the two peacefully slumbered, John, natural in his sleeping movement, found his way over to Teyla…burying his face in her warm neck…breathing deeply in her natural scent…bringing his arm around…placing his hand on her belly…spreading his fingers there…securing her tightly in as he molded his form to hers.

They slept that way, never separating, until Atlantis at long last made contact.

With news in tow, Rodney had informed Ronon, then went to update Teyla; upon arriving he loudly yelled her name…causing Sheppard to jerk away from Teyla; though still lying down, he was now awake thoroughly.

'What the hell is all the ruckus!?'

'John…you made it…you're alive…and awake!'

'Of course I'm alive! Why the hell wouldn't I be?'

Ronon at McKay's side, 'well, friend you had a few rough nights…we didn't know if you were gonna make it.'

In all the commotion Teyla woke sitting…turning to an excited Rodney who again yelled her name.'

'Teyla…Atlantis has established contact…I informed them of our predicament and Elizabeth has sent a Puddle Jumper to pick us up.'

'That is wonderful news Rodney.'

After acknowledging Rodney, she then turned to face John, 'and how are you feeling?'

Sitting up with a gasp, 'What the hell happen to you?'

Closing his eyes to fight of the dizzyness, he re-opened them to look at Teyla's horrendous black and blue eye.

Teyla gently placing a hand against his chest, 'lie back Colonel you are not strong enough to take on such worries.'

Thankful for her assistance, he obediently, laid back upon request, then reached out to caress the side of her face exhibiting the horribly massive bruise.

'Who did this to you?!'

Ronon smirking at John's blistering rage, 'You.'

He turned to look at Ronon then back at Teyla,'Meeeee.'

'Yes you; but I am alright…now that you are with us once more; you were away for quite sometime. A little over two whole days infact.'

John couldn't help but notice the soothing tone and sympathetic eyes she gave him.

Ronon realizing he and Rodney were no longer needed, 'We'll leave you two alone.'

'Uhhh…we will?'

Ronon, not interested in dealing with Rodney's ignorance regarding what was occurring before them, grabbed him by his collar.

'Yeah, we will.'

Moving to stand…John lost his balance.

'Whoa.'

Teyla nimbly rising to her feet acted fast catching him.

'John, you really should not exert yourself.'

Now both standing closely face to face, John holding her gaze, whispers nervously 'I didn't say anything outlandish while out of it did I.'… wondering if during his fever he might have disclosed any of the nightmarish details of his childhood, he embarrassingly searched her eyes.

Teyla breaking contact, and then returning his worried look with one of assurance, 'no you did not.'

Still being steadily held by her, he looked down, wondering if he should believe her, why shouldn't he, it was Teyla after all; she doesn't lie.

But he has, in the past, said things in his sleep that caught the attention of the women from his former relationships. And to know that he had been ravaged with fever for the past two days, how could he not have said anything.

He looked up once again to surprisingly find her watching him with tear stained eyes swimming in knowing sympathy.

It was in that moment she circled her arms around and up his back, embracing him as she tucked her head under his chin laying her cheek against his chest.

It was then he realized Teyla knew. But he no longer cared. He recognized her choosing not to tell him the truth was her way of protecting him.

Once coming to terms with what he now knew, he did what his body would only allow him to do; he, succumbed to the warmth that was Teyla…melting in her arms… firmly, holding onto his lifeline as tight as he possibly could. Vowing, to himself, never to let her go.


End file.
